First I think it's fair to say that I'm sorry, but those snooty comments I promised didn't exactly happen. It's actually not totally my fault, I had my driving lesson the day after a Rush concert, so I was fairly tired, and for some reason my driving instructor wasn't in a terribly talky mood. Don't get me wrong, he still wouldn't shut up, but it was more the content of hat he said.
I should start out by saying that we had scheduled this last lesson on a day we hadn't gone yet, (Thursday) in hopes that we would catch him on his day off. We didn't. I'm starting to think that he's the only guy there.
Since the last day is review, I was expecting to copy and paste all three previous posts to give a summery of the last day. Thankfully, I am such a good driver, I won't need to.
Both my friend and I agree that driving first is easier than going second. (Our instructor would disagree, but going first means you get it out of the way faster.) Since we're such good friends, my friend and I switch off who gets to go first every day. It was my turn this time, but that didn't stop me from claiming it before our instructor even asked.
Something I keep forgetting to say in these posts are the launch details. You move the seats around, adjust the mirrors, and then drive around the parking lot to warm up. Personally, I don't warm up to a car until I'm going at least 35 mph. Once we're about to go, our instructor (This is getting ridiculous, let's call him Joe) double checks to see if you're sitting too high, too far back, if the mirrors are right, if the seat belt is too tight... etc. All of a sudden you can feel the pea under your seat and have to re-adjust everything. I finally just decided that the first time was right and wrote it off as perfect when Joe asked again.
First we went on the freeway. No surprise, Joe forgot about the 3 hour road trip I told him about last time. No matter, because I prefer freeways more than normal roads anyway. (At least when he's in the car.) I hate to say it, but on the freeway, Joe was actually helpful. It was weird, but he would tell me to speed up or slow down to let a car merge onto the freeway, and uh, other helpful stuff. Probably my favorite part was when he told me to go faster, so hit the accelerator a bit more, but the little jinky car we had didn't want to go much faster than 70. He kept telling me to go faster, and I kept hitting the accelerator more, until I finally decided to floor it. The car made a lot of noise and went a little faster. It felt pretty good.
Joe also has some pretty funny rules. For instance, after you change lanes, you should keep your turn signal on for at least three seconds. My mom has fun trying this and commenting that it's way too long. Another one that I personally like to poke fun at is how to gauge how far you should stay behind the car in front of you. CDI suggests about 6 seconds at 40 mph. I don't know about you, but it's kind of difficult to measure distance in time units. Joe had another suggestion. For every 10 mph, you should be one car length behind the car in front of you. So, for 30 mph, 3 car lengths. But what about on the freeway, when you're going 70? 7 car lengths? Actually, anyone who can video tape themselves being 7 car lengths behind a car on the freeway at all times, without getting shot, arrested, or getting their car banged up can get themselves a cookie. Unless you're on a diet, then I have nothing for you.
Sadly, once we got off the freeway Joe went back to his normal self. Last lesson Joe made the comment that I have no sense of humor, which was actually the funniest thing he said all day. If I have a dry sense of humor, Joe's is drenched wet. Most the entire time I was driving he was either giving directions or making jokes that were best left un-commented. (I believe some examples would be about a naked man and an ambulance, but I was trying not to listen.)
I do regret, there were two times that were perfect opportunities to show off my sense of humor. But when you're in the hot seat, it's difficult to come up with these on the fly. Once I was behind a large truck on a red light. While we were sitting there, Joe asked how tall I was. Not sure where this was going, I answered about 5 foot 8. He then said that I was a good distance behind the truck if it was a car, but since it was a truck I should be a little farther back. Still confused on what this has to do with my height? Yeah, me too. I think he was wondering if I was tall enough to see in front of that car, but even if I was 50 feet tall, the car we were in was only 4 and a half feet tall.
Another instance of questionability was, once again, when we were sitting at a red light. This particular light was on a slope, and we were nose up. While we're sitting there, Joe tells me to apply more pressure to the brake because we're on a slope. I'm not an expert on cars, but I'm pretty sure that if the car is in drive, it can't roll backwards. Once we got home I asked about this, and according to my mom, the only way for it to roll backwards in drive is if the car were to break out of gear. Admittedly, this car was old enough for this to be a possibility, but if it were to break like that we'd have a new problem altogether.
Finally, I was done and it was my friend's turn. I tried to catch some shut-eye, which was actually pretty easy since I was wearing sunglasses. All I had to do was stay awake enough to answer the occasional stupid question about stop signs, and write down anything Joe pointed out on the road.
At the end of our lessons we were promised a certificate needed in order to get our licenses, but for some reason Joe didn't have them ready, (Expecting us to fail?) so he's going to mail them to us. We'll see how that comes through.
What have I learned? Never, ever, break a driving law. Or you may have to go back to driving school.
